EAP Mental Talks: Emotional hijacking and triggers

The emotional hijack is triggered by the most primitive part of the brain – the part that developed millions of years ago to cope with the immediate dangers of a hostile environment. The problem arises because this part of the brain reacts to perceived danger faster than the more recent, thinking part, sending us into the fight-or-flight response before we have had time to consider other options. It may have been a healthy reaction when the danger was the scent of a sabre-tooth tiger; it’s less than helpful when the reaction is triggered by your boss giving you some extra work or less-than-tactfully-delivered feedback!

When people’s angry emotions take over their logic, it is very difficult to communicate effectively. From time to time, everyone has to deal with a person who loses control, whether it is an associate, a supervisor, a customer or, indeed, themselves. Angry feelings are like a thief. They steal away the part of your brain that prevents you from saying things you regret later. Angry feelings sometimes become so intense that people become verbally abusive or physically violent.

Being aware of the impact of your emotions on your behaviour may help you to

• Select better responses to challenging people and situations
• Become more calm and peaceful when you have to deal with stress
• Help others deal with their angry feelings
• Avoid physical or verbal violence.

The challenges to controlling your emotions are

• Your own anger
• Others’ anger directed at you
• Stress and negativity.

What causes you to lose emotional control?

You risk losing control

• When you feel that you have no choices or options
• When other people lose their tempers
• When you are in physical or emotional danger
• When you are treated unfairly
• When your intentions are misunderstood
• When you are disappointed with yourself for making a mistake
• When you feel overloaded (‘the last straw…’)
• When something or someone gets in the way of what you want to do
• When you feel someone has violated your values – for example, by lying to you.