My story: What does depression NOT like?

автор: Теодора Ангелова
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My name is Teodora Angelova and I have had the opportunity to become really close with depression. We know each other with panic attacks very good as well. It turned out we had been acquainted long before I assumed. I know what it is like to be in a situation in which you think you are either losing your mind or dying. I know what it is like to lose the sense of purpose and not to feel joy even from your favorite activities. I know what it is to be in a self-destruction mode while judging and blaming yourself.

I know what depression likes, what it feeds from and how hard it is to get away from its embrace. I know also what it does not like, what terrifies it and makes it huddle in the corner. I learned it the hard way.

I know also what it is like to be burned out. I know what it is like all the people in a crowded hall to chant your name and to expect from you to ensure your team’s victory. I know how heavy the burden of great expectations and responsibilities is. I know it because, before joining the corporate world, I was a professional basketball player. I played for various teams in Bulgaria and Spain and I was part of the national Bulgarian basketball team.

What do sports and depression have in common? What can sports give to us and what can it take away? How do sports help us be more successful in life? You can find  this and other topics on my blog ТениСтраст.

What does depression NOT like?

In the previous article I shared with you what depression likes. But the more important question is – what does depression NOT like?

I believe that in principle everyone knows very well what depression does NOT like.

Depression does not like physical activity, meeting with friends, does not like healthy food, walks in the park, sports etc.

I knew all these things perfectly well. In principle I knew what to do. The thing is that when you have depression, you just cannot do them. It is the same when you have a broken leg – you just cannot walk.

People who do not suffer from depression are very good at giving advice – practice yoga every day, train, you must be active, go out with friends, eat more blueberries, green vegetables, fish etc. Seriously? I did not know that.

Yes, you know perfectly well what you have to do and not to do. But only the ones that have been caught in depression’s embrace, know how difficult it is to get rid of it.

I will share with you what helped me and how I managed to have more and more good moments.

Depression definitely does NOT like acting spontaneously. It does not like surprises.

What do I mean? You are comfortably cuddling with depression on the couch and suddenly you start thinking of your favorite pasta and craving to eat it, You jump off the couch to cook it because if you hesitate even for a couple of seconds, the pasta will become a mirage. You will say to yourself: “Ok, I will get up in 5 minutes, I will just lie down fir a little bit more”. And so, these 5 minutes will become an hour and 5 minutes, half a day…

That is why it is called “spontaneously”. You do not wait for a specific hour or for the movie to be over, you do it spontaneously, at that very moment.

Depression is simply terrified of spontaneous and surprising actions. No matter what exactly they are – if you will be cleaning, cooking, training or going for a walk. The secret is to do it at the very moment you thought about it. Thus you don’t need to blame yourself of missing your walk or your daily exercises at exactly 9 o’clock.

When you give in to the impulse, to the spontaneous actions, then you start feeling pleased and happy with yourself. You feel happy about the things you have managed to do. You start feeling strong again. And, I assure you, spontaneous actions gradually begin to become more and more. And as their number increases, you increase your strength and your faith that you really need in order to get rid of depression’s embrace. 

Other publications by the same author:

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